Monday, November 24, 2008

apology poem

This is just to say that I am sorry.
You deserved it...
but I am still sorry.
Actually, I take that back.
I am not even the tiniest bit sorry.
Have fun cleaning up the frozen yolk
and miniscule pieces of eggshell,
and know that every egg thrown was symbolic of my red hot anger.
Ya know what i AM sorry for?
That I ran out of eggs.

Response:
I had a feeling it was you.
I knew you would stoop to a new level of immaturity.
So as I stand her in sloppy puddles of yolk,
I just have one thing to say to you.
Revenge is sweet.

Matrix V. 2

While fighting to stay awake through the long, endless lectures of english class,
I long for recess once again.
That half hour of heavin in the middle of every torturous day when everything was right with the world.

When I have to stand by and watch my hard earned money claw it's way,
kicking and screaming,
out of my bank account
I can't help but daydream about the days when I could go to my mother for money...
and actually get it.

Those days when I spend endless hours pouring over homework that...
let's face it...
I'm never going to get,
Remind me of how much I miss the days when learning how to spell Minnesota for the spelling test the next day seemed like an impossible task.

When friends turn out to be different than I expect,
and the ones I think I can count on betray me,
I would give anything to go back to the second grade.
To the times when friendship was simple.
When a simple "I'll trade you my pudding for that juicebox" was all it took.

And when the hardships come rolling in like an unstoppable tidal wave,
I long for the days when my biggest problem was the chocolate milk I spilled on my new white Easter dress.

But,
I guess those are just the drawbacks of growing up.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Life in Customer Service

What I Really Want To Say

I’m teetering on the edge of insanity.
The anger boils,
Red hot,
Under my skin.
With every ungrateful word that crawls out of your disrespectful mouth
I come to resent you a little more.
You push and you push
And then you push some more
And your rude remarks are about to catapult me off this ledge.
One day,
One more incident,
And I will break.
The wrath of my anger and spite is something no one wants to see,
So just go away
Before I say what I really want to say.
Until then,
I guess I have to stick with
“Thank you.
Have a nice day.”

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

What gives you the right?


What? No response?

I really wish you’d give me some answers,

because I’m at a loss here.


You obliterated our spirits,

and took a wrecking ball to our hearts.

If that was your intention,

Then mission accomplished.

Job well done.

This might just be your best work yet.

But, here’s some advice.

Don’t get your hopes up,

Cuz you’ll only be disappointed.

She’ll beat you.

She’s stronger than you.

You

Will not

Get her.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Longer Short Story

Carissa Sargent

Longer Short Story


“YOU HAVE GOT BE KIDDING ME!” Erica yelled as the jolt of her car being rear-ended sent her flying forwards. It was her first day at this godforsaken school in this sorry excuse for a town that she never wanted to move to in the first place, and now this!? She slammed her car in park, flung open her door, and, in a fit of rage, ran back to yell at the jackass who did this. Instead, all she saw was the jerk’s car flying around the corner in the opposite direction. “Great…what happened to the Minnesota nice I heard so much about,” she said bitterly.
Cursing under her breath, Erica went to her first hour class. She was the first person in the room. As soon as she sat down, another boy walked in. Of all the seats in the entire classroom he could sit in, he sat directly next to her. “Hey, I’m Alex. You new?“ he said. “Erica…and yes,” she replied, slightly annoyed. “Right…well, let me give you a few pointers. See, I’m kind of a king around here…people love me. Stick with me and you’ll be fine,” he said with a goofy, joking grin. Erica couldn’t help but smile. “I know it’s your first day, but what do you say to getting out of here? You look like you could use some cheering up…and I have just the thing,” he said with an irresistible smile. Without giving it a second thought, she got up and walked out with him. “Where are we going?” Erica asked, while running to keep up. “You’ll see!” he responded. After several miles they stopped. In front of them was an old abandoned house. At this point, Erica started to get scared. “Don’t worry..” Alex said, noticing the weird expression on her face. “I’m not a creep. Just follow me. You‘ll see.” When they reached the back of the house, Erica stopped dead in her tracks. She had never seen anything like this. In front of her was the most beautiful field of red poppy’s she had ever seen. It stretched for miles and seemed to never stop. Smack in the center of the field was a tree house, high up in the branches of the biggest oak tree she had ever seen. “Race ya!” he yelled, and they both bolted for the tree house. After the treacherous climb, Alex and Erica both laid sprawled across the floor of the tree house. “This is beautiful,” Erica exclaimed. “I told you it was worth it,” he said. They laid in that tree house for hours, talking about everything from their families to their inner most secrets. Erica didn’t know what drew her to Alex so much, but their instant connection was undeniable. Maybe it was because she was so lonely in a town where she knew nobody, but Alex made her feel like she had lived there her entire life. Like she belonged. From that day on, they were inseparable. Every day, after school, they went to that tree house and talked. It got to the point where they knew more about each other than about themselves. There was no denying that their connection was something of magic.
After a couple months, Erica couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.. Alex had been acting strange towards her for a while now, and he wouldn’t tell her what was going through his head. As they sat in the tree house that day, Erica snapped. “What’s your problem? You’re acting weird towards me!” Alex froze. Nobody spoke for an entire hour. Then, out of nowhere, Alex spoke. “Erica…I love you.”“You what?,” Erica said, surprised. “I have since the day I met you. I love you. Always have, always will. I don’t want it to change anything, so I didn’t-”“Alex, I love you too.” Erica said, cutting him off mid sentence. “Always have. Always will.” They turned and gazed into each others eyes for what seemed like an eternity. “I’m the one that hit your car…” Alex admitted. Erica replied,” I know…just shut up and kiss me.”





fyi i know this sucks, but im workin on it! im workin on it!

Monday, September 22, 2008

False Advertising

55 word story

His online dating profile read "tall, dark, and handsome."
Yet...here I sat with a 4' white man with crazy eyes and buckteeth,

"You're really cute," he said with a repulsing grin.
"Thanks. You are...too...," I said while trying to hold back the urge to vomit.
"Check please."

Monday, September 15, 2008

Guilty Until Proven Innocent (Final Version)

[The jail cell is dingy and just dark enough that JUDY can't see her hands in front of her face. On the back wall, next to a nearly decomposed cot, is a tiny window encased in bars. Staring through the bars sits JUDY, unsure of whether to be furious or terrified.]

JUDY
[To nobody in particular]
How the HELL did this happen?! I...how...what am I supposed to do now?

[From the far, back corner of the cell comes a voice]

JOSE
Are you talking to me, or yourself? Cuz if you're talking to me...I don't care, and if you're talking to yourself already...that's a bad sign.

JUDY
[startled]
Oh. The man speaks, huh?

JOSE
Lady, don't mess with me. I ain't got no tolerance for people's bull****.

JUDY
What're you in for?

JOSE
Honey, I've done things you couldn't even imagine. I'll spare you the details. What'd you do?

JUDY
Nothing. I didn't do anything. I was just shopping for my mom's birthday present and the cops surrounded me. Next thing I know I'm sitting in this cell with no clue what the hell is going on.

JOSE
[smirking]
Uh huh. That's what they all say.

[Judy remains in the corner, not muttering a word the rest of the night. Meanwhile, JOSE lays snoring on the opposite side of the cell. JUDY tries, but is too terrified to sleep. Bright and early the next morning, JUDY and JOSE got a pleasant wake up call. An officer, rattling the cell bars, yells and instructs JUDY to follow him. While walking down the hallway, JUDY says...]

JUDY
You mind telling me what I'm doing here? I'm pretty anxious to hear your explanation considering I didn't DO anything.

OFFICER
Playing dumb, huh? Interesting strategy. It's not going to work this time. You've been a danger on these streets for far too long and I would love nothing more than to watch you go down.

JUDY
[angrily]
I don't know what you're talking about. You obviously have the wrong person. I'm the least dangerous person you will ever meet!

[They arrive in the interrogation room. A long, steel table with two chairs are the only objects in the room. JUDY sits in one chair.]

OFFICER
I'm sick and tired of punks like you that think you can get away with whatever you want. Here's the plan. I ask, you tell. Got it?

JUDY
I'll tell you what I know.

OFFICER
And what's that?

JUDY
[persistently]
I didn't do anything.

OFFICER
[now yelling]
Smartass, huh? There's no use denying anything, Judy. We have evidence. Cold, hard evidence.

JUDY
How is that possible? You've got the wrong girl, I swear it on my life.

OFFICER
[now furious and screaming]
You're telling me that you didn't rob that bank back in '79? And you didn't steal those cars in '82? ARE YOU TELLING ME that you didn't rob Edward Jones' house in '83 and that you didn't single handedly organize that drug trade through the Mexican border? You can deny it all you want Ms. Roberts, but I got you. I got you red handed. There's no way out.

JUDY
[shaking]
Whoah whoah whoah. Sir, I work at a women's shelter. I teach Sunday school every weekend at St. Vincents Church. I volunteer at a soup kitchen four times a week, and I pick up garbage if I see it on the ground. Does that sound like the makings of a criminal to you? Now...don't I get a phone call?

OFFICER
[officer escorts JUDY to a phone and leaves her to make her phone call. JUDY calls her mother.]

JUDY
[to phone]
Oh thank god, mom. I don't know what to do! I'm in jail. Me of all people.

PEARL
[slurring her words]
heeyyy honey, that's great!

JUDY
Did you hear what I just said? I'M IN JAIL!

PEARL
OooOOOh. Well...that's life.

JUDY
[now angry]
You're drunk again, aren't you? The one time I actually need you and you're drunk. This jerk of an officer thinks I'm some kind of psychotic criminal, I'm losing my mind, and you're DRUNK. Typical. Ya know...I'm really getting sick of this.

PEARL
[in a cheery voice]
Okay honey, see you soon!

JUDY sits in her cell for hours, unsure of what to do.]

OFFICER
[walks in looking confused beyond reason]
You...you have a visitor. She...well, she looks just like you..I don't know what's going on here, but I'm sure as hell going to find out. Come with me.

[JUDY walks into the visitor cell to a mirror image of herself, plus a few wrinkles and inches in height. Instant shock takes over her.]

JUDY
Who..what the...

SARA
Hey little sister....Sounds like you have quite the extensive vocabulary.

JUDY
Little sister? What the hell are you talking about? I don't even know you.

SARA
Yeah...there's a lot of things you don't know. Mom doesn't exactly like to tell the truth.

JUDY
I've never met you before...and you expect me to believe you're my sister?

SARA
What do you want me to do? Take a DNA test? Why else do you think I look just like you?

JUDY
Well then why did mom never tell me about you?

SARA
I told you. Dear old mom isn't what you think she is.

JUDY
Fine. Then tell me.

SARA
Does mom still drink?

JUDY
Well, yeah...

SARA
Ha...so nothings changed. Judy, mom's an alcoholic.

JUDY
[sarcastically]
Really? I hadn't noticed.


SARA
Well then you understand why I left. She was always drunk, Judy. Always. She would leave us at night and go to the bar and wouldn't come home for days. When she finally did she'd be so out of it that she didn't even know who we were. We didn't deserve to live like that, so I left.

JUDY
Great. You got out. What about me? You just left me there? I was two years old and helpless. What was I supposed to do?

SARA
I didn't. I took you with me.

JUDY
Obviously not...

SARA
You wouldn't stop complaining that you were hungry...so I left you outside and ran to get us food. I was only gone for a minute...when I came back you were gone. I looked everywhere, Judy...I couldn't find you.

JUDY
So you just gave up?

SARA
I didn't know what to do...I knew at least one of us had to get out of there and I thought you were gone for good...Believe me, I've regretted it every day of my life.

JUDY
Okay, well...thanks for that. I'll be mad at you later, just get me out of...wait..I didn't even know you existed. I haven't seen you for 18 years and you just show up? How did you know I was here?

SARA
I found out you were alive a couple years ago...I've been following you since. I'm your big sister...it's my job to watch out for you. I didn't see you for a couple days...that's when I figured out they got you.

JUDY
You've been stalking me?

SARA
No, I was looking out for you. Just because I left you doesn't mean I don't love you. You're my sister.

JUDY
Please tell me I'm not in here because of you...

SARA
I'm getting you out. That's why I'm here. I' m so sorry, Judy...

JUDY
But I saw what you did...how could you do those things? You're a criminal for gods sake.

SARA
I ran away when I was 12, Judy...I had no way to survive. I was desperate. You'd be surprised what desperation can do to you...but I don't want your life to become mine just because I'm too selfish to own up to my actions. I'm your big sister. I feel responsible for you. I'm not letting you go down for my stupidity. I love you little sister...now go live the life I never could.

[The officer, who had heard everything, comes out with a look of shock on his face. SARA tells him the truth and watches his face as he realizes that JUDY has been telling the truth all along. Careful to avoid a direct apology, he says...]

OFFICER
Looks like you got lucky...

SARA
[Being hauled away in handcuffs, looks back at JUDY]
You might hate me for what I did, but I'll always be your big sister.

[JUDY gets released from her handcuffs and walks down the stone steps of the jailhouse and flashes an i told you so grin at the officer]

JUDY
Wow. I'm never listening to mom again.